I could have sex if I told her I loved her

Oh yeah, forgot to mention this tidbit of information. There's this lady who I became infatuated with a few weeks ago that says she loves me. Apparently she's the hottest girl I could but will never have, because she won't meet me unless I tell her I love her. Sorry, but for me that could only develop later in a relationship... like after I've met you in person.
You were in my thoughts nightly, though. Most guys would probably say they loved you in my situation. You would be lucky to have me. And frankly the reverse is probably true.

Life sucks.

Not much news...

I imagine it's been a couple of days since my last post, and I can't think of much that's happened. I went to a couple of birthday parties, the first one Janine's. It's always nice to go spend time with that family, her parents are the most wonderful people and they always make you feel welcome and wanted. They're pretty special.
A trio of girls were at that party, and I tried my best to play a bit with them and making them smile. One of them, the one with the hottest body, wouldn't even look at me. Like I was beneath or something. Don't know what to call her exactly, but let's stick with 'snob'. My interest in her ceased to exist rather quickly. So on to the other two. One of them had amazing eyes, grayish green or something, and I played with her quite a bit and I got a smile or two. The sweet girl I didn't talk to much, but she was right there while I was playing with the other.
Come departure time, I ask Janine whether the two non-snob girls have boyfriends. Only the grayish green eyed did. So I stopped the sweet one on her way out and ask her if she would like to go for coffee sometime, and she doesn't even make eye contact with me, laughs a bit and proceeds to the exit.
Is it so much to ask to at least reply with an "I'm not interested"? What am I, some looser geek who's not even in the same league as her? Even if that was true, it is very rude to just laugh and ignore the other person if they're being polite (as I was). Actually, now that I reread what I wrote, it probably is true - she's not in the same league as me. She wished.

Don't know what to call that attitude either, but immaturity comes to mind. At a minimum.


Tonight I got another birthday party. Somehow the restaurant screwed up the reservations and we ended up dining at 00:30 (reservations were for 9 pm). Lots of complaining and stress aside,
there's not much to tell. I can pretty much look at anybody now and know if they're feeling OK or not, and most people there (75% female) were not. But I couldn't do much about it, it seems I still can't cut very well through that layer of bullshit that people have around them. Or maybe I still care to much that I'm talking too much nonsense to people who I feel aren't comfortable with me. I'm getting pretty snobbish myself, thinking that all those people would be a lot happier if they were like me... More open, more "I don't care", more "let's be happy". Hmm can't say there seems to be anything wrong with that attitude from me, though.
An older girl from the party (she was 35, decent looking) was the most playful of the bunch. I got to talk to her a bit and, before she left, got her email. She lives an hour and a half away, so I won't be seeing much of her, but hell it never hurt to ask for an email. She might be fun to talk to.

I just hope next posts will be about curing my procrastination. Till then.

The cookie addiction

Hi It's been a while without any posts. Hello 2007.

I'm pretty sure I covered this before, but I gotta tell you I have a cookie addiction. After hours of scorching the web (I don't know where my camera is. Leandro's girlfriend probably has it.) I finally found a picture of the german version of these babies. These make me get up at night: a double cookie with cocoa in the middle.

It's gotten to the point where I'm positively delighted when I finally have my stomach empty again so I can go eat another one. I prefer taking them with cold milk, or liquid yogurt, but unaccompanied they also taste just fine.

I take so much pleasure eating them that I try to prolong the flavor. I'll chew on them like a mouse, slowly (but with fast opening/closing of the jaws) progressing through the cookie, passing the phase at which it resembles a crescent moon, all the way to total incorporation. Aaah, and then maybe I'll repeat the dosage and eat the second one... but no more than that, these things must be extremely caloric and allowing myself to relax on eating them will surely result in an anesthetic belly. Besides, I need to shape up so I can run the half-marathon come march.

Smoking. I can chose to have none of it, right?

Today I entered a magazine store to buy Sol, my favorite newspaper nowadays. I stayed longer as I was trying to spend some more money (I wanted to use the ATM card, and 2€ seems too cheap to do it. Some stores even forbid it, even though I'm pretty sure that's illegal. But I digress.) I picked the newspaper up, put it on the counter and told the lady I was still looking for something more. Suddenly this guy walked in the store, smoking a cigarette. I didn't like it. It was a small store, and even though I wasn't immediately annoyed by the smoke, I would much prefer it if no smoke at all was present. I'm definitely not used to smoking being allowed in stores, particularly inside shopping centers like this one (Centro Comercial Acqua Roma), and I asked the gentleman "Excuse me, do you think it's ok to smoke here?". He didn't say a thing, just stood there looking at me. Funny, if he though it was ok, why didn't he just say it? After all I was just asking, in the most polite way I could. The lady behind the counter then said something like "just trying to create a fuss", directed to the gentleman (but about me) I suppose. She then talked to me to say "Why shouldn't he smoke, we sell tobacco and there's an ashtray just there". So I asked "So you (as in 'The store') are OK with him smoking here?" "Yes". "Ah, I won't be taking that newspaper then" and I proceeded to leave the store. I could still hear her commenting "just trying to create a fuss"...

Well I don't like smoke. It annoys me and it's bad for my health. I mean, really bad for my health... I lose my ability to breath normally after a very short period of time of inhaling smoke. And so I'm not OK with people smoking around me. I know a lot of people feel the same way, and that's why I asked the gentleman my question. In the absence of his reply, the lady informed me that the shop had no problem with it... and I chose to take my (small, but still...) business elsewhere. I was merely getting informed, funny how that equals "trying to start a fuss" in her mind...

So many people act this way, though. It's like we can't be honest, you're more likely a psycho who has an evil agenda...

Hehe It's great to be able to feel I'm above it though. Live on!

How to remove shit from your shoe

So today I inadvertently splashed my shoe in somewhere a dog had done its thing. And it stank. The stench, after a couple of minutes of being in my car, was nauseating. I needed to get that stuff out... but how?

At 27 I still hadn't learn how to do it. About once every couple of years I pull this stunt, and usually I drag my foot on the ground, preferably somewhere grassy. And the minute I get home I put them in the balcony and ask the house maid to clean them. But this time, I'm alone in my rented bedroom in Lisbon... no maid in sight, in fact, no one in sight at all. As usual, cleaning them by myself doesn't get me very far: I put them in the sink (the bathroom sink), pour the water and scrub them, first with my hand and then with a sponge. Some of it scrubs off, but a lot still remains in the cracks of the sole (it was a sport shoe).

Damn, if only wikihow did an article on this... I SO need it right now. More so because I had no more shoes in house. Even more so as in half an hour I was going to meet Tania and her grandmother. But Aha!, I found the answer. Yes, The Answer™, and I'll share it with you. That is, the moment I know how to write it in English... It's "piaçá" in Portuguese. Hmm. Well, apparently, it's called "toilet scrub brush" or "bowl brush". I mean, it only makes sense, right? Its prime use is for cleaning shit anyway...


For the personal joazito touch, I added liquid soap and away I scrubbed. It was clean in a matter of seconds.


I'm so full of shit, aren't I? Well, a bit less, thanks to the method above. Take care.

How to stay awake in class

I've partially or completely slept through all of the lessons I had this semester. It was just unavoidable... The professor is a good professor, some of the subjects are interesting but... inevitably, at some point, I would doze off. This has happened every single class this semester. Except last one.

So, what was different about this particular class? Bubble gum. Funny how that thing most teachers despise during high school can be so effective in keeping our mind awake. Well, I didn't make it through the entire class, at about 2 thirds in I almost swallowed my aid and decided to get out of there. Still, a valuable lesson was learned.

Maybe this can be used to prevent sleeping while driving. There's a thought.

Third post

Here I am in my rented bedroom in Lisbon, laying on my bed writing.

This will be the shortest blog post yet, as I need to get some work done. To summarize what my life is like now:

- Tania's step-dad and I are rubbing the wrong way; Of course this is HIS fault, but I could be a little easier to bend... Only I don't feel like it. His (step)daughter is 18, he should treat her as such. And I'm pretty much grown up too. Bah.
- I REALLY need to work on my TFC (meeting Monday) and seminar presentation for a class (Tuesday). That's why I'm spending Friday night in Lisbon and not at my parents'... I have no TV here.
- I can't wait to get hungry so I can eat the cookies I bought at LIDL. The crunchy with chocolate in the middle ones, which can only (so far as I can tell) be bought there. I bought a whole case, which carries 20 packages... and they go so well with milk. Actually, other cookies go better with milk, but these are so delicious all by themselves... the milk just helps it go down a bit.

I really can't wait. I'm officially calling this text a post so I can go to the kitchen and grab a couple. Only a couple, they're immensely calorific. Bye now.